Category Archives: Family

Family life among people in later life

Offering Help to Family and Others

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Advice may sometimes be the help that’s needed.

Monday we mentioned that now is a time for generosity. If you have a portfolio, you’re fortunate. Millions of people don’t, and they may need your help. How do you handle that in a compassionate and reasonable way? 

To begin, you must know how your portfolio functions in your life: do you depend on it for year-to-year living? Or is it for extras like travel, gifts, or luxuries? That distinction is important because if you help by selling investments and giving the proceeds, you reduce future investment income. That’s not the case with income from work—giving part of a month’s income to a relative in need doesn’t reduce next month’s income.  Continue reading →

Three Mothers on Mother’s Day

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My mother, Loretta Flick

Just read a column in the Wall Street Journal by a fellow who told of the first time he brought home a centerfold of a partially nude young woman. This happened in the early 1980s, when his hormones were in their teens. His mother was clever, he said, in that she asked him if it was right to steal. He replied, “No.” Continue reading →

Zen and the Art of Long Marriages

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Last weekend we attended a dinner to celebrate the 50th wedding anniversary of friends. Two other long-term couples we knew also attended, and there were family and other friends as well. We four couples connected through our wives, all of whom were classmates and friends in nursing school many years ago. Our first toast was to long marriages, especially to that of our hosts. What makes them work, we asked? Continue reading →

Death and New Life: Mary Ann and Harper Grace

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One magnolia fading after a full bloom, another magnolia opening to the day

One magnolia fading after a full bloom, another magnolia opening to the day

Yesterday at 3:30 a.m. a dear friend in Alabama passed away from complications following surgery. We were neighbors for several years and our children grew up together. We shared many meals and laughs, helped each other when needed and worshipped together. We’ve lived apart for maybe 18 years now, but we have stayed in touch. Her loss is deeply felt by my wife and me. Rest in Peace, Mary Ann.

Mary Ann leaves her husband, Keith, and three sons, all of whom are grown and married. She and Keith were married for well over forty years, and he now faces a loss that will reverberate through his life for years to come.

Then at 6:30 a.m. in Vermont, one of our nieces bore her third daughter, Harper Grace, and everyone is doing well. We probably won’t see Harper Grace until late fall or early winter. She joins her two sisters who are full of curiosity, hope and love, and her parents, Marc and Amy who are in middle life, devoted to work and family, and spending their own energy as if it were boundless. Welcome to our family and the world, Harper Grace. Continue reading →

Retirement with a New TV

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“Barbara, c’mon, hurry up, I’m starting Longmire,” I said, settling into my chair. It was about 3:10 p.m. and we recorded Longmire the previous evening.

“I’m coming, just wait a minute,” she said. 

Soon we were both settled in front of the TV watching an episode that we recorded the evening before. Walt Longmire is an older sheriff who struggles against evil in Wyoming’s backcountry.

We watch TV on our schedule now, and we fast-forward through the commercials. 

It’s great! Continue reading →

When Dementia Strikes Home, We All Need Help

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A review of, Chicken Soup for the Soul: Living with Alzheimer’s and Other Dementias, 101 stories, eds. Amy Newmark and Angela Timashenka Geiger, (Cos Cob, CT: Chicken Soup for the Soul Publishing, LLC, April 2014).  Available online at Barnes and Noble, Amazon, and perhaps your local bookstore.

Photo by Matt, Chicken Soup for the Soul, https://www.flickr.com/photos/dippy_duck/

Photo by Matt, Chicken Soup for the Soul, https://www.flickr.com/photos/dippy_duck/

The editors of this fine book have compiled 101 useful stories of living with dementia. I wish it had been available years ago.

Mary Jane (MJ), my mother-in-law, suffered from dementia for many years. My wife, Barbara, and I aren’t sure when it started; but MJ had been growing less capable, more dependent, since the late 1950s. Continue reading →

Adventure: Friends on the Loose in the Woods

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Uli and Otto Saur

Uli and Otto Saur

Otto and Uli are visiting for a week. We hosted one of their sons as a high-school exchange student about thirty years ago, and we’ve been friends ever since. Years ago we hiked with them in the Alps, and now they wanted to hike in the Appalachians. The Appalachians have vast areas of unpopulated wilderness with poorly marked trails, and hikers who make a small mistake may walk for miles in a wrong direction.

Continue reading →

Seniors and Social Media

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All of us reaching toward 70 years, all of us use Facebook

All of us reaching toward 70 years, all of us use Facebook

By Glenn Gillen, Senior Account Manager, S & A Cherokee, Cary NC

Seniors are now the fastest-growing social media adopters in the United States. In 2013, 43 percent of Americans over 65 used at least one social networking site, compared with 26 percent in 2010 and one percent in 2008.

Here’s an overview of the most popular social media:  Continue reading →